Talking coffee machine nearing retirement.


Hello sir stroke madam,
hrm, just my little joke, sir.

The old ones are the best, as I always
say to the coke vendor, humourless,
arrogant, bastard that machine is.
Pepsi tastes just as good, yeah, up
yours pal.

Please insert coins,
thank you, Mr Gates,
and may I add you’re looking particulary
handsome and erudite today.
(why do I feel compelled to say that?)

Hot or cold? hot, okay!
Sugar? Good choice.
White or brown?
Or as we like to call
it in the trade, artificial flavouring
of unknown origin.

Remind me to send you
down a spoon,
you lucky, lucky person!

Milk or molten? Right,
right we are then.
Some call it just this side of volcanic, but
powdered milk does take the edge off.

Milk it is, sir.
No, no trouble at all.

Now just go in for the cup,
that’s right, just grab it.

Oh, extra hot water,
I really have no idea
how that happened and you

dropped it, oh dear.

Sorry, no change or refunds given,
company policy.



One thought on “Talking coffee machine nearing retirement.

  1. nectarfizz says:

    The the longer I know you, the more I can you of you in these poems. It amazes me and makes me feel that tiny bit proud, because I know you are this clever and amusing naturally.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s