The worst ‘collab’

Feel free to add
your own thoughts
whenever you feel they fit;
It needs a new voice here,
It doesn’t,
and I’m starting this poem off.

You were rude in S1,
so now I’m not letting you
squeeze any word in this one.
(You don’t know why
you even agreed to do this)
Here’s a few beautiful random
thoughts.

(Sadly, random thoughts were cut
from final edit)

It was decided to leave the next
lines blank, except for
the occasional word for cryptic effect.
.
Joe peeled a time onion.
.
He cried.
.
.
He got over it.
.

We need something good
for the ending, something
thought provoking.
I agree, let’s let it end abruptly,
a jagged edge, sharp,
decisive, unlike anything you’ve
ever written.

You think that’s funny don’t you,
onion Joe.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “The worst ‘collab’

  1. nectarfizz says:

    Onion boy…har har har..this is rather lovely matt…I like it.

  2. Matt says:

    A lousy poem (I suppose that’s the point), but off the cuff, which I enjoy doing sometimes just to see how things wander 🙂

  3. nectarfizz says:

    I refuse to acknowledge it as a bad poem..to do so would be to admit I have a few stinkers of my own..and I don’t (as far as they know anyway)Poems are sensitive.

  4. I agree. This isn’t a bad poem. A bit schizophrenic, but honestly, who isn’t in this society?
    *isn’t what?!*
    Isn’t schizophrenic you –
    —Shut up, you dimwads! I’m trying to thin—
    *oh, blast it all . . . . wait. isn’t what, again?*
    ~long suffering sigh~ Schizoprenic, you dimwit.
    *hey! i’m not a di-*
    . . . .

    Well, you get the idea. 😀 This is a fabulous poem. Quite interesting, in its structure, idea, and such. Not lousy in the least . . . unless you left it outside with the neighbor’s dog and the two of them rolled around in the dirt and . . . . . (I’ll just shut up now. . . *nods quietly*)

  5. Matt says:

    Schizophrenic? hahaha, I suppose you could read it that way, although it’s just meant to be seperate voices of two poets collaborating in a poem. Both trying to vye for attention as it were, either one gaining the upper hand at times. It’s more of scribble of an idea in the making and a possible structure than a polished piece. 🙂

  6. Sharon says:

    Inventive Matt, enjoyed the process

  7. Yes, I think (emphasis on the word ‘think’) that when I first saw the title, and first started reading it I knew it was two poets collaborating. But somehow, in translation, it ended up as a bit schizo. 😀 Tells a lot about me, I guess. Lol.

    Now that I read it again, I can just see me being the words in italics, and my friend, ever sensible, serious, and focused as the words in regular font. 😀 I can totally picture her voice in this. Lol. It is a good poem, by the way, if I didn’t already say so. Cool idea.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s